A couple had two boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a local clergyman had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, ‘Where is God?’
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, ‘Where is God!!?’
The boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him, he asked, ‘What happened?’
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, ‘We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing - and they think WE did it!’
Sunday morning blues!
One Sunday morning a mother went to wake her son and told him it was time to get ready for Church, to which he replied, ‘I'm not going’.
‘Why not?’ she asked.
‘I'll give you two good reasons’, he said. ‘One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them.’
His mother replied, ‘I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to Church. One, you're 58 years old, and two, you're the parish priest!!’
Over-run with squirrels
There were three churches in a little country town: an Anglican church, a Methodist church and the Catholic church. Each church was overrun with squirrels. Because there were so many, they caused havoc.
The members of the Anglican church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they decided that, although the squirrels were a major problem, they were predestined to be there and the church members shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside the town. Three days later, all the squirrels were back and as much of a problem as ever.
It was the Catholics who came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and confirmed them. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter…